Around noon, I went outside to get my mail and check the front yard. A beetle seemed to be crawling around the garage for some odd reason. The beetle was weird, it had long antennae and small pincers. I'm not a bug expert, so my best guess was a beetle. Yet it acted weird. I didn't want to kill it off, so I tried to sweep it away and scare it off. The damned thing didn't give up and continued to come back, despite me whacking it a clear 10 feet away. I didn't think much of it and just let it do it's thing, it's hot outside and what harm would it do?

Several hours passed and it was still around. Not a big deal, but then it started to dash for my door. I'm guessing it could smell the cold air and wanted in. I tried one more time to scare it off, but it did not move. I made noises, whacked it around, everything. I could feel the beetles determination, so I had no choice but to kill it.

I found bug spray and hoped it would work on it, it did. The bug died and I was left with a dead bug that was trying to either get in the cool air or get food. I was not sure what to do for a moment but came to the conclusion that I would bury it.

I found it odd to bury a bug of all things, but I didn't do it because of whatever it was as a race. I buried it because it had the fury and determination to get what it wanted, no matter the cost. I buried the beetle, made a prayer and reflected upon what had happened.


There is a lesson to this, even now I am trying to make sense of it, but I will understand it with time.

Mature Content

:thumb81691755:
Clubs

I hate forums. Not all forums, but many current day incarnations of forums seem to be missing the point in how people wish to communicate.

Deviant art is one of the most devilishly evil forums I have ever laid my eyes upon. There is no edit button, or delete button for the forum so  it leaves people into this hit or miss mentality. To make matters worse is that fact that you can't use images as fluid compared to other forums. Now there are worse forums then DA and there are pros to the system (The reply system is awesome to stray off flamewars and allow the main topic to thrive). But in the end I find that DA is a good example what a forum should not be.

For a site that is so wonderful to focus about art, it lacks to tools in it's forums to express oneself. You can't change the style of fonts, styles, color, as openly and you are just left with the cold and grey mechanic of a machine world. It's almost fascist in the form of how it operates.

But I think the biggest issue is the plzs. To the uninatiated, the plzs are user pictures to express an idea or just use as a picture. Several combinations of accounts can make a very large plz, but the fact is that the system has forced this culture that shouldn't nor need to exist. It exist only because the heavy restrictions that forum system has laid out.

Is there a logic to why they are doing it? Yes, but as of right now I have failed to find out why. It could be a petty reason or a logical one, I don't know. Yet forums like DA cut off expression and eats time in a simple task like a forum.

Mature Content

:thumb81691755:
Clubs

So I been getting back in order for writing and even reading other people's work. However a few things crossed my mind over quality control over several things of art and it's fine time for cleaning house. In short I will be deleting and redoing several of my poems, short stories and clean them up in the sense of grammar, spelling and structure. Other then that, I hope to submit a few more works in the near future.

Mature Content

:thumb81691755:
Clubs

So just waking up from a mid day haze, I began to pound  a pill of pain killers to get my head ache off. Despite still having a headache, I have this urge to write my ideas down before they are gone. Lately I been wondering a lot about self and worth of being who we are. Today I got a big dip of my social side as I pretty much had a hard time to stop joking and poking at people's ideas. Yet the problem was now, do I care? If given that I can be jerkish or even rude, was I being intentionally being rude? The answer is no, I was not. After a bit I have found out that I may be a jerk and all that, but I don't  have the intent to go out and intentionally cause damage. In the past these unintentional occurrences would eat me for days on end, now they are just little bookmarks in my walk to better improve myself.

Mature Content

:thumb81691755:
Clubs

It's been several months and I feel I can type calmly about my ex-guild. I rather not wish to rant but I will give some basic things that happened.

The guild I left in WoW was House Shadowsbane. It is a very small Heavy RP guild that did not expand much beyond the few people that we knew. For a while everything was fine, but dull. The main reason was that no one ever RPed or make events and there was a major lack of communication. Now when I mean communication, I don't mean that people were refusing to talk to other people or that channels were closed off, I mean no one was talking in the matters of RP.  That does not mean we didn't talk, it just means we did not have any focus on RP.

There are a lot of things I could say but one of the things that I think really tipped me over was the freak out on how I wanted to advertise the guild. It did not go very well and there was a major communication issue over how we advertise, if the guild is open to applicants, and how do we expand to get new blood in. From what I can recall it seems that the guild is open but just not ideal to advertise and even then are selective. That does not mean we had a heavy application issue, because we rarely got anyone even applying.

After that I gave a notice, talked to the guild leader and left. That should have been the end of it but then began this long drama over it. As I said, I am too tired of the subject to go into such details but words were spent and bridges were burned. I thought much about the world I left and wondered did I leave anything. The answer is that I didn't, I didn't leave anything unfinished and I still don't regret my move. That guild is introverted and even now their numbers few and the relationship they have with the rest of the community is pathetic.

I was in a guild that did cliquish RP. I did not oppose it and now I am just drained from RP in general.  I hope to get back into that  among other things.  However this time away from the game, from the norm has greatly helped jme and I ah glad to finally getting back on my feet and back to work that I want to do.

Mature Content

:thumb81691755:
Clubs